Seriously it has been a shitty shitty 1 week. Broke up with my girl friend and i am pretty much confused as to the reason why she would wanna do such a thing. Actually, even she confessed that she herself is absolutely confused with regards to the situation between us. She just says that after almost 2 years of going out with each other, she woke up one day and said "who is this person i am going out with? Do i even know him?". I admit, i havent been the best of partners but at least i was willing to try and i have given it my best. But at the end of the day, it's just a matter of what she wants. I want her to be happy always, and i also want the best for her. It is very painful to admit, that she does know what i have to offer, and if thats not what she is looking for, although realizing it after 2 years together, then there's nothing much i can do.
The brain and the heart are two very conflicting areas of one's being, and it is just so very confusing. My brain on one hand, tells me that this is the correct thing to do. I should let her decide for herself and whatever she decides, i should respect it and just accept it. However, the heart on the other hand, says Hell NO!! How very ultimately confusing and it just doesnt help that much when there is such a conflict going on in between myself.
I had two very contrasting opinions on what should my next step be, one from a guy (a very close friend of mine) and another from a girl (another good friend of mine, although an ex-gf as well, but we are on good terms). The guy's advise was to give her some time off to think about it all by herself and let her sort it out, since she is confused and only she knows what she needs and wants. And he also added htat i shouldnt contact her and life goes on, and i should let her call me, and not me call her. The girl on the other hand, told me i should go and buy flowers, call her up, shower her with gifts and chocolate to try and win her back. Now, looking from the two advices i got, i must say that i am pretty leaned towards my guy friends advise, since i tend to agree with him. I must admit though, that i was practically rolling on the floor laughing when i heard my girl friend's advice, and it did actually lighten up my day a bit and also cheered me up. I mean, probably she doesn't really understand the situation i am in so i guess i'll give her that.
Breaking up is really hard to do. It's especially difficult if you still love the person very much, and the break up wasn't your decision in the first place. But i guess, life moves on, and i am beginning to realize that the most important thing for me now is that she is happy, no matter what happens. I guess also that there shouldnt be any regrets as to what happens, as what a good friend of mine says, in life we can never predict what is gonna happen, and if we are able to, it would just not be any fun anymore. So i guess, whatever happens, happens. If we do get back together in the future, then so be it. If not, i should just enjoy the moment i am going thru now, and always reflect on the good times i have had in the past, and there has been so many good times. If you love someone, let her free, if it comes back, it's meant to be. If not, what to do? Just cherish the moments you had in the past and move on with life. You can't control whats going to happen, you can only try your best, and the rest is all up to the allmighty to decide.
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